


Leave Me Where I Lie

by FloralBucky



Category: Avengers: Infinity War - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything Hurts, F/F, F/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thor is in love, Trauma, Valkyrie Needs Help, infinity war fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:18:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralBucky/pseuds/FloralBucky
Summary: A story of love, loss, pain, and learning to trust again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be several chapters long, and don't worry, it will get less angsty :) I also wrote all of this in one frantic sitting so please excuse any mistakes! 
> 
> (Title from "Sky Full of Song" by Florence and the Machine)

It wasn’t unusual for Valkyrie to be drinking. 

She first stepped foot on Earth with a bottle in one hand and her sword in the other, battle-worn and immeasurably exhausted from defending the last remaining Asgardians from the threats they faced on their journey. It had just been her in charge. Thor had disappeared after Thanos blew up the ship, and she had only just managed to save herself and rescue most of her people before they suffocated or froze to death floating in space. Heimdall was dead, run straight through, and she had barely caught a glimpse of his body before it was blown to bits in front of her from the force of the explosion. She’d known Heimdall for millennia, and his death cut into her with a vengeance. But she hadn’t had time to pause, or to grieve, because Loki had mysteriously vanished, her people were approaching extinction, and she was the only one with some semblance of strength left. So she’d wiped her eyes, cleaned her sword, and gotten to work. Somehow she managed to get everyone into escape pods and set them on a course for Earth. Thor had talked about Earth with such reverence, such respect, that she hoped she would find him there, and...she didn’t know what she would do if she found him. If she didn’t, and he was dead or worse, then Earth was as good a place as any for her race to live out the rest of their lives in peace. 

They spent months in the pods, maybe years. They were running on bare minimum levels of fuel and supplies, and the pods had weapons systems so weak they could barely defend against those that wished to take advantage of them. In the first two weeks, they lost three pods, and Valkyrie felt each loss like a blow. In the mornings she prayed for forgiveness for the ones she couldn’t save, and at night she drank herself into oblivion until she was numb enough that she couldn’t feel her fingers or hear their screams. 

Finally, blissfully, they caught sight of earth. There couldn’t have been more than a hundred of them left, and they were  _ this _ close to starving, but when Valkyrie laid eyes on those swirls of blue water and green land, she fell to her knees in her pod. She let herself stay like that for a minute, forehead pressed against the cold glass of the window, before she stood and notified the rest of the pods that they were almost there, almost safe. And after that was done, after she’d heard the happy screams and tears and choruses of thanks, she let herself crack open the last bottle of Asgardian rum that she’d been saving for months, and fall inside. 

 

 

When they landed, it had been a homeland security nightmare, but the Avengers showed up within minutes to neutralize the situation. When Valkyrie’s boots touched the grass, and she breathed in the spring air, she could have cried. Instead, she drained the bottle, swung her sword into the scabbard on her back, and smiled. The Avengers were busy tending to her people, most of whom were openly sobbing, but Valkyrie spotted Thor through the crowd in seconds. His hair had grown out a bit, and it looked like his missing eye was back, but other than a new heaviness to his shoulders, he looked mostly the same. He had the same kind eyes. Valkyrie was always floored by his eyes. No matter how much he went through, his eyes never hardened. 

She tried not to run towards him, but her people seemed to spot him at the same time as she did. Instead of rushing towards their king as she expected them to, they parted and opened up a path between her and him. Stunned, she started to move towards him, keeping her steps measured and deliberate, but she hadn’t known if he would even be here, if he was alive, and if he’d made it through whatever the hell the past year had offered him, and ultimately she couldn’t help herself. She started to run, tossing down the bottle just before they met in the middle, and she threw herself into him. He smelled the same, sharp like a storm and crisp like fresh apples and honey, and she clutched him with all the strength she had left. 

 

The Avengers took them to upstate New York, to their facility. Apparently, the Asgardian pods had landed in a place called Virginia, so it wasn’t a long trip. It took about a week to feed, clothe, and settle the people. The Avengers had to erect impromptu houses and shelters in the woods around the facility, with promises to find better accommodations in the upcoming months, but no one dared complain. Anything was better than what they had just come from. The first night in her new room Valkyrie couldn’t sleep. She was overwhelmed by everything, and her bed was too soft, and her surroundings were too hulking and angular and unfamiliar, and she craved a drink. She’d slipped out of bed, found a fully stocked bar, and drank and drank until she passed out on her bathroom floor. 

Finally, once everyone was reasonably settled, the Avengers and Thor sat her down. She saw Bruce for the first time since their arrival and pulled him in for a hug so fierce that he’d teared up. She was introduced to Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Tony. Natasha hung back warily but nodded when Tony gave Valkyrie her name. Many of their team members were absent, Tony explained, because it was difficult to keep everyone in the same place, but he told her about them anyway.

Then she’d sat and listened as they told her their story. It took hours, and there was so much anger and pain in the room that it choked her. They told her about Thanos, and the snap, and the desperate grieved scramble that followed as they tried to bring their friends back. Steve, with tears in his eyes, told her about how they finally got everyone back, and Bucky placed a comforting hand on his back while Sam cupped one of Steve’s knees in his palm. After they finished, Valkyrie felt the strong need to escape, or to drink, or to fight, but Thor hesitantly asked her what happened with her and the Asgardians, and what they’d been through, and she hadn’t the strength to resist him. 

When she finished her tale of death, and loss, and struggle, and pain, and fear, his eyes were so dark and stormy that thunder began to crackle in the sky, and she feared for the safety of the mortals. But eventually he’d reigned himself in and stormed off, and she’d quietly excused herself from the circle of shocked Avengers and collapsed into her bed before drinking herself to sleep, too exhausted, and emotional to even see of Thor was okay. But he was strong, and so was she, and they persevered, separate and in silence. 

 

 

So no, Valkyrie was no stranger to drinking, and in turn, none of the Avengers were strangers to her habits. She lived in the facility with Thor and the rest of them, and a day didn’t go by without her making her way through a bottle. No matter how many times Thor tried to explain to them that Midgardian liquor wasn’t as strong as that from Asgard and that she was barely affected by the alcohol, they were all worried for her, Thor most of all. He spent the most time with Valkyrie, although that wasn’t saying much considering she highly valued her solitude, and she was quieter than she used to be and more subdued. They danced around each other, sleeping in his bed together one night and not talking for the next twenty, but they meant more to each other than the other could fathom, and Thor felt for her. She seemed exhausted all the time, and although her humor was still there, it was flatter and more bitter than it used to be. No one expected any different - she had suffered through months of trauma, and a few months in relative security wasn’t going to heal her mind entirely, but it was difficult to witness nonetheless. 

That night, however, was different. Something was different. When Thor, Steve, and Sam returned to the facility from a relatively successful meeting with some government officials about finding permanent placement for the Asgardian refugees, they found Valkyrie in one of the many common rooms in the Avengers facility. She was sitting at the table, which wasn’t inherently unusual, but the way she was slumped slightly to the side, and the tension in her shoulders were both reasons for concern. When Thor fully entered the room and saw the half a dozen bottles littered at her feet, and the one in her hand, his heart leaped into his mouth. 

“Valkyrie,” he called, his throat tight. He half thought she was unconscious, or worse, so when she turned sluggishly to face him, he breathed out. But that relief died horribly, and instantly when he really looked at her face. Her baby hairs were stuck messily to her forehead, and her brown cheeks were flushed dark and blotchy. Her eyes were unfocused and blurry with what looked like unshed tears, and sweat dripped down her collarbones into the Brooklyn t-shirt she wore, which Steve had given her. 

“Val,” Thor breathed again, sliding into the chair across from her without removing his eyes from hers. He thought about taking her hand but decided against it. Valkyrie barely tolerated affection, much less public displays of it, and he didn’t think now was the time to test that. His use of her nickname was already too much. “What happened? Are you okay?”

He was vaguely aware of Steve and Sam moving to hover behind him, and although Valkyrie hated others seeing her emotions, he felt better with them there to support him. Besides, she hardly seemed situationally aware enough to realize he was sitting in front of her, or that there were others in the room.

Her eyes slid over Thor, then locked shakily onto Sam and Steve behind him. She laughed brokenly and set the bottle that was in her hand down at the edge of the table. It wobbled precariously for a second before deciding not to crash onto the floor. They all watched it while it tipped back and forth, Valkyrie secretly wishing for it to fall so she could escape this conversation and continue on her crusade to drink herself unconscious. But it stayed upright, and the room stayed silent as the three men waited for her to speak.

“What happened?” she repeated, vaguely irritated at the way her words slid into each other. “What didn’t happen?”

“I’ve barely slept in a week. I’ve been having…” she paused as if deciding how much she wanted to let them in, and how many of her broken she parts she wanted them to see. But she was drunk, and she wanted - needed - help, no matter how much she wished to remain closed off, and wary, so she let herself talk. “I’ve been having dreams. About something I haven’t let myself think about in years. And I think it really fucked me up, Thor,” she laughed again, hollowly, and shook her head. Thor’s heart ached at the way she said his name, and he longed to tuck her into head into her chest and press his nose into her hair. 

“Then last night after hours of nothing, when the sun finally started to come up, I started looking forward to something. Anything. Someone else to talk to, to distract me, or training, or one of the Asgardians needing my help, because for months that was all my life was. Someone needing me, and putting aside everything I may have been thinking or feeling to deal with someone else’s problems. But then I left my room, and there was no one. The whole place was empty. The Asgardians were fine. Everything was fine. But I still felt like my skin was trying to pull away from my bones, and my head was pounding, and I kept seeing my dream over and over.” Valkyrie paused and scrubbed a hand sloppily over her face, and then took another long drink from her bottle. Steve moved as if to stop her, but Sam put a hand on his shoulder. She put the bottle back down, this time between her and Thor, and slumped forward slightly. She stared at the table, following the wood grain with her eyes, because no matter how drunk she was it was going to take strength she had not possessed in years to tell Thor about this, and she couldn’t look at him. She knew that if she looked into his kind, gentle eyes she would cry, and she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. So she stared limply at the table and spoke. 

“And then I realized. Today. Today is the day that Hela invaded Asgard and slaughtered my people, and left me. The only survivor.” Thor sucked in a breath, but before he had time to react Valkyrie kept on. 

“I keep wondering why I'm remembering it so vividly when I haven’t in years, and why it’s all coming back to me with such detail when everything about my life, and every single thing I do and choice I make, is designed to keep it away.” Her voice trembled. “But after everything that happened - after Loki used his little magic to fuck with my mind and after Hela came back, I guess it would only make sense that my memories of what she did come back too.” Valkyrie closed her eyes, and a solitary tear dripped down her cheek and into her neck. She didn’t move to wipe it away, and Thor watched her with wide eyes as she opened her own again, a crooked smile on her face as she did. 

“It’s been thousands of years, and I’m still this affected by it. Other people have worse traumas, fresher, more painful traumas, and they aren’t...” she gestured angrily towards the colorful array of bottles scattered at her feet “...fucking useless alcoholics.” Thor felt Sam and Steve tense behind him and suddenly couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

“Don’t say that about yourself, Val. Don’t fucking say that.” His sharpness startled her, and she met his gaze with a raw expression, her cheek still wet. “Don’t compare yourself to other people. You’re allowed to hurt and to grieve and to _ feel _ about this for as long as you need. Forget about everyone else, and anything they might have to say. They aren’t worth it.” 

Valkyrie swayed in her seat, the expression on her face shuttering between carefully cultivated passivity and tears, and Thor only just managed to leap out of his chair and catch her before she slid to the floor. Sam and Steve had jumped forward after Thor, but he was already half dragging, half carrying her body towards the couch. She was even more out of it now, her face contorted in pain, and Thor could tell that she was trying to remain calm, and subdue her emotions. To maintain her controlled facade, even now. 

Steve and Sam helped Thor manhandle Valkyrie into a sitting position on the couch, and then they squeezed onto it with her, Thor on one side, Sam on the other, and Steve next to Sam. Thor half wanted to stop her from falling over, and half really very strongly wanted to be close to her, and to provide a shoulder for her to cry on should she need it. He tentatively reached out and stroked her hair, his large palm practically covering her entire head. He expected her to pull away, or make some excuse for herself and try to run, but she was extremely drunk, and it was like he hit a nerve, or touched on something so precious and deep inside her that she always kept it hidden, and locked away, and she began to cry, desperate and afraid. The three men were shocked into inactivity for several seconds as they watched her face twist and her hands shake, and then all at once, they reached out to her. Thor tucked her safely into his side and kissed her head soothingly before continuing to stroke her hair. If a few tears slipped out of his eyes and dripped on top of her head, no one noticed. Sam was too busy rubbing her knee soothingly, and Steve had his arm draped around the back of Sam so he could place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Valkyrie was overwhelmed, and it was so intense so fast that all she could do was cry harder. In between shuddering, consuming sobs, she gasped out a sentence that stopped Thor’s heart. 

“It’s been thousands of years, and I’m still in love with her. Why can’t she just let me go? Why can’t she just fucking let me go?” And then she promptly fell unconscious. 

 

 

When the room was mostly quiet, and the only sound four sets of uneven breaths, Thor looked up from where his face was pressed into Valkyrie’s hair. He wasn’t surprised to see that both Sam and Steve’s eyes were wet and that they looked shocked, and worried. He felt like someone had stabbed him in the gut, and he wasn’t sure what to say, but he needed to say something. To fill the horrid silence. 

“I’d heard rumors-” his voice broke, and he cleared his throat before starting again. “I’d heard rumors that her wife sacrificed herself to save Valkyrie from Hela. And that Valkyrie had to watch Eir die right in front of her. But I never thought…” He trailed off and looked up at Steve and Sam with so much pain in his eyes that any question of how much he loved Valkyrie dissolved. “I’m not sure what to do.”

Sam ran a soft thumb over Valkyrie’s shoulder, shaking his head. “I think all you can do is be there for her when she wakes up.”

He kissed Valkyrie’s forehead, then pressed a reassuring hand to Thor’s arm, before he and Steve left them alone. To give them space, Thor assumed, and he was grateful. Thor curled himself into Val, shielding her body with his, and vowed not for the first time to protect her with his life. 


	2. Chapter 2

Valkyrie woke with a massive, horrific headache, and an acrid taste at the back of her mouth. She was entirely confused for a moment, her fuzzy brain failing to connect what she was feeling with the last thing she could remember, but then it all rushed back to her in one horrifying wave. She felt nauseous. She’d gotten drunk and...what had she _done_?

Shame rushed over her, then disgust. She was so fucking disgusted with herself. She had been able to handle her emotions about...about everything for thousands of years. She didn’t need anyone’s reassurance or pity, or anyone to cry on. But that’s exactly what she’d done. Cry. And if she remembered correctly, she’d told her entire fucking life story. _Goddess._ What would they think of her now? What type of formidable, legendary Asgardian warrior got drunk enough to lose all her inhibitions, then blabbed to her king and two near strangers about everything that made her fucking hate herself?

A useless, alcoholic mess, she thought bitterly. She was a disgrace to her sisters, and to their memory. What would Eir think if she could see Valkyrie now, distant and cold and angry and so irrevocably broken? Hiding behind a title she hadn’t truly believed in in millennia, refusing to go by her name. Valkyrie shook her head suddenly to clear it, determined to not spiral down that path of thought. She sat up, gingerly, and squinted at the bit of sunlight filtering through the white curtains. She was in her room, but she couldn’t remember how she got there. She looked around in the half-darkness and froze when she saw a phone on her bedside table that definitely wasn’t hers. No matter how much everyone kept telling her to adapt to Midgardian technology, it was difficult, and she’d flat out refused a cell phone several times. She crawled across her bed and clicked the home button.

The background picture flashed up at her, and it took a second for her eyes to adjust to the harsh light. Her own face smiled back up at her, and Thor’s as well. They hugged each other close and grinned at the camera, both of them wearing casual clothes. His arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, and she had one arm on his shoulder and the other thrown out to the side. They looked so happy. Her throat tightened, and she set the phone back, face down.

Valkyrie remembered talking that picture. It was about a month after she’d arrived on Earth, and she and Thor had been helping with maintenance on the temporary Asgardian shelters. Tony had snuck up on them and convinced them to let him take a picture. ‘For his records,’ he’d said, rather ominously, but Valkyrie had known that was bullshit. Tony was just nosy and probably wanted blackmail material. Still, she’d let Thor lean down and wrap himself around her. It had been a good day, and they were comfortable around each other. Thor had loved it so much he made Tony send it to him, and then he must have made it his phone background. He must have taken her here, after the...incident. She didn’t remember being anywhere near her room when she decided to sit down and get shitfaced last night. Probably because she didn’t want to make it easy for anyone to find her.

Valkyrie sighed and rolled out of bed. She couldn’t sit in the dark forever, and eventually, she was going to have to face the destruction she’d caused. She brushed her teeth, tried to make her hair look presentable without showering, and changed into some high-waisted, baggy jeans and a black sweater Bucky helped her pick out online before heading out to face the music.

She followed the sound of soft humming to the kitchen to find Thor, his hair tied back and an apron around his waist, flipping pancakes on the stove. She sat down slowly, wary of how he might react to her presence, and of what he might say, but he simply pushed a mug of hot coffee towards her with a smile and continued cooking. She tentatively took a sip, and it was perfect. She frowned into the mug, not sure how Thor knew how she liked her coffee, but she wasn’t about to ask. The silence was all too precious when she knew a lecture was coming soon. So she just sat there, sipping her coffee and appreciating the way Thor’s arms looked as he flipped pancakes. He knew she was watching, and she was aware that he was aware of her gaze, so she smirked at him when he looked up, and he smiled back. Always so sunny, that Thor, she mused. Things rarely brought him down.

After a bit Thor put a plate of fluffy pancakes in front of her, untied his apron, and joined her at the counter. They ate in relative silence, one of them occasionally commenting on the food, but it was a good silence. Valkyrie wasn’t the biggest fan of her own voice, and even if she liked listening to Thor talk, she enjoyed sneaking looks at him almost as much.

Sneaking. Valkyrie knew she didn’t need to sneak. She was well aware of how Thor felt about her, and the back and forth they’d been at for months wasn’t something she was thrilled about or proud of. But instability in relationships was all she’d known for thousands of years, and she wasn’t about to settle into some domestic routine. Especially not now, with everything she’d just done. She’d told Steve, Sam, and Thor about Eir, or at least mentioned it enough for them to come to their own conclusions, and that was something she swore she would never do. Even after all those years, the wound was still fresh. She let out a breath and looked at Thor. He was observing her, gently, as if he could read her thoughts, and he pushed his plate a bit further onto the counter before swiveling around on the bar chair to face her.

“Valkyrie,” he started, and the way he rolled her name around his tongue sent a little shiver down her spine. She lifted her chin in defiance, ready for whatever admonition he had in store for her, or whatever he was going to bring up about her past, but he just sighed and shook his head.

“Why do you do that?”

She was taken aback.

“Why do I do what?”

“Make assumptions,” Thor frowned. “You prepare yourself as if I am going to scold you like you’re some child I’ve been charged to care for. I know you think that you need to be reprimanded for what happened last night, or that you’ll feel better if I’m mad at you or disgusted by you because that’s what you feel you deserve, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.” She started to shake her head, to argue, but he held a hand up.

“No, listen. I accept you, Val. All of you. Don't you think I have dark things in my past that wake me up at night? My father’s actions essentially led to your greatest pain. My mother is dead. My brother has vanished. And the Asgardians are my people, too, in case you’ve forgotten. So don’t think I don’t understand that darkness, and the pull to give in, and to self-destruct. We aren’t the same, and our pasts can’t be compared, but don’t think I can’t try to understand you, and that what you’ve been through and how that has shaped you will ever stop me from caring about you.” He sat back and crossed his arms as if daring her to argue. Valkyrie felt something warm creep up inside her, and threaten to fill her lungs and heart and her very being, but she pushed it down. She couldn’t. She’d tried, and she couldn’t. She turned away, fighting against a sudden flood of emotion.

“Whatever it is,” Thor said softly, “You can say it. You can tell me anything, Val. I won’t judge you. Believe me. I’m not in a place to judge.”

“Brunnhilde,” she blurted out. “Valkyrie is - it’s just a title. It’s not my true given name. And I haven’t been a Valkyrie in a very long time, not truly. My name is Brunnhilde.”

“Brunnhilde,” Thor tried, and she almost ran right there at the sound of her name, her real name, on his tongue. “It’s lovely.”

“I haven’t told it to anyone in a long while.” Her lips trembled, and she pressed them together. “Thank you.” He let her gather herself for a moment before she said what she’d been meaning to say since she arrived on Earth.

“Thor, I do care about you. Deeply. So much that sometimes _that_ is what keeps me up at night, and not everything else. So much that it terrifies me. Because in all these years, all the years since what happened, I haven’t been able to get close to anyone. Every time I do I find myself right back with Eir, when she died, and before. She was the love of my life, Thor. You have to understand that. We were soul mates. We were married. We were meant to start a family together. We were meant to be together for the rest of our lives. We-” Her voice shuddered, and she pressed her eyes closed. She felt Thor place his large hand on her shoulder, and his warmth seeped into her until she had the strength to open her eyes.

“Every time I’ve been with anyone for longer than a few nights I’ve felt as if I’m betraying her, somehow. Every time, except with you.” Thor looked up at her then, and the hope in his eyes almost broke her.

“With you, I’ve felt almost normal. And I don’t find myself thinking about her as often. I find myself forgetting. And that scares the living shit out of me, Thor, because the last thing I want to do is forget her. I want to love again and have a family and live my life to the fullest, but I can’t forget her. I can’t. She was my everything, and when I die I still want to join her in Valhalla and I just can’t-”

“Hey,” Thor soothed, gingerly placing a hand on her cheek. She was breathing heavily and shivering a bit, and she leaned hard into his palm. “I’d like to help you keep her memory alive, and make new ones to join hers. If you’ll have me.” The slight shaking of his hand against her was the only indication of his nerves. Brunnhilde hesitated for a long moment, then turned her head and deliberately pressed her lips to the inside of his palm.

“I don’t know how this will go, and I can’t promise you much. I’ve still got a lot to work out in here, and in here.” She tapped her head and her chest. “But I also can’t keep pretending like you don’t mean something to me, Thor, and like I don’t want you. Desperately.” The last word came out of Brunnhilde’s mouth in a whisper, and Thor’s eyes slid shut. “So yes, I’ll have you. And then I’ll have you again and again and again until you decide you’re tired of me.”

Thor laughed, big and booming and warm.

“I will never be tired of you, Brunnhilde,” he promised and pulled her close. He still smelled sharp like a storm and crisp like apples and honey, and she never wanted to leave the circle of his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm weak and could only wait 2 days before posting this chapter lol. I've already written the next one too so that'll probably come pretty soon. I'm aiming for 4 chapters but it may end up being 5, who knows? I'm honestly always just making stuff up as I go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter!

One Year Later 

 

Brunnhilde held onto the sheets beneath her for dear life, twisting them in her hands as she panted into her shoulder and lifted her hips up into Thor’s mouth. He didn’t complain at her movement, just pressed his palm more firmly into the divot in her hip and continued mouthing at her, his tongue dancing across her folds and moving in tight, controlled circles that made her dizzy. He watched her with lazy, hooded eyes as he took her apart, and the absolutely sinful way his naked body curved against the bed below her was almost enough to take her over the edge itself.

Brunnhilde threw her head back as he struck a particularly delicate nerve and gasped, her chest rising and falling. She was so close - so horribly close - and she swore he was teasing her on purpose. They’d been at this for a ridiculous amount of time, long enough to test both her patience and his stamina, but so far both had persisted. Thor was still going strong, and she was still one push away from coming.

“Thor,” she rasped out, one hand coming down to grasp at his hair. “Thor. Please.”

He smirked at her but knew better than to argue. He pressed his face back into her with a newfound determination that stunned her, his tongue hitting all the right spots, then reached up with the hand that wasn’t holding her open and twisted her nipple between two fingers. Hard.

Brunnhilde came with a vengeance, pleasure rippling through her with a strength that left her breathless and blinking back tears once it passed. That was something that had been happening lately, with Thor. The first time she’d cried after orgasming, Thor had been so terrified that he’d done something wrong that he wouldn’t let either of them leave the bed until they’d discussed it. They’d concluded that Brunnhilde had just felt overwhelmed, and safe, and happy and that the tears were just a side effect of those emotions. They were justified in their concern, considering Brunnhilde didn’t typically cry even when she was distraught, but it just kept happening. Now, whenever it happened, when Brunnhilde was feeling entirely safe and loved and cared for, they welcomed it and accepted it as they accepted any other bumps in their relationship.

As Brunnhilde returned to herself, Thor crawled up her body, pressing gentle kisses into her skin as he went. He kissed her tears away, licking the salt from his lips, and smoothed some sweaty strands of hair from her face. She smiled up at him and pulled him down for a kiss. She could feel that he was still hard against her leg, and she moved to take him into her hand, but he pulled back.

“You relax,” Thor whispered. “Today is about you. Relax, and watch.” She pouted slightly but was never one to turn down a show.

“Okay,” was all she said and watched with increasing arousal as Thor started to stroke himself. His muscles flexed and stretched as he moved, and his hair, which had grown even more in the past year, flopped into his face. Brunnhilde observed from where she was laid up against the pillows for a few minutes, caught up Thor’s pleasure before she slid down the bed and pressed herself against him. Her breasts pillowed into his arm as she kissed him, then started to lick lightly at his chest, sucking a nipple into her mouth. Thor hissed from above her, increasing his pace until he came into his hand.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Brunnhilde breathed into his neck, and he smiled at her loopily, those kind eyes of his beaming.

“I could say the same about you, Hilde.”

She grinned, then kissed his forehead. “Come on. Shower.” Thor groaned. She rolled up out of bed, and, knowing Thor was looking, sauntered towards the bathroom, making sure to roll her hips a few times on the way there. When she reached the door and looked back, Thor was still lying on the bed, watching her with an open mouth.

“You coming, stranger?” she asked, quirking her finger at him. He almost tripped in the blanket in his haste to get out of bed, and she laughed as he stumbled into her arms.

“Always,” he whispered into her ear.

 

 

The next morning Brunnhilde and Thor got up early to train. They typically trained together, or with whatever other Avengers were around the facility at the time, so it was no surprise to find a small crowd in the large gym. Bucky and Natasha were working on some sparring moves together in one corner, flipping each other over smoothly and methodically into the padded mat beneath them. Sam and Steve ran side by side on treadmills, music playing softly from a speaker set between them. Tony was wearing exercise clothes, but instead of working out, he sat against one of the walls and typed away on his phone. Business, presumably, but you could never be sure with Tony. It may have been Pepper or some dignitary he’d managed to piss off. Wanda and Vision were over in a corner lifting weights. Or, rather, Wanda was lifting weights and Vision was spotting her, since weight lifting didn’t do much for him.

Even for an early Monday morning, the gym was decently full, and Brunnhilde tensed at the prospect of having so many eyes on her. She constantly battled between loving attention and thriving under observation, and not wanting people to see her and be able to read her. Thor looked down at Brunnhilde as they stood in the entrance.

“We can always go and come back later?”

She appreciated the concern, but the Avengers were her friends, not her enemies, and it was high time for them to see what she could do. Even though she had been living at the facility for well over a year, Brunnhilde still had yet to fight with the Avengers. Most of the recent threats had been minor, easily resolved by the established members of the team, and even Thor stayed home for most of those. It wasn’t that she was against the Avengers or their message - she just wasn’t sure that she was too keen on putting herself back into that type of situation and fighting alongside others who relied on them to keep her safe. She also wasn’t sure she was physically ready to jump back into things. She had just come off of months of struggle and constant fighting for her life, and although it was difficult for her to admit this to even herself, she had needed a break.

Fighting was practically her religion, however, and she couldn’t stay away from it forever, so soon after she arrived on Earth she’d gotten back into going to the gym and training. Even if she wasn’t necessarily going to fight with the Avengers, that didn’t mean she couldn’t keep herself strong.

“No, it’s fine,” she told Thor, stepping into the large room. “I want to spar.” He grinned devilishly.

“You want to lose, you mean?”

“Oh, don’t start that. I won last time, and you know it. And don’t think I haven’t talked to the big guy about your history of lying about winning battles. Because I have.” Brunnhilde grinned as they reached the mat. It was probably the largest in the room, and the most centered, but Brunnhilde pushed her twinge of discomfort aside. Let them see what she could do.

Thor rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else as he toed off his shoes and socks and slipped off his jacket. He was wearing a loose athletic shirt and gym shorts that stopped halfway down his muscled thighs, and she half considered abandoning this whole sparring idea to drag him back upstairs and ravish him. But no, she really did want to spar. So she kicked off her shoes and socks and joined Thor on the mat in her leggings and tank.

Brunnhilde could feel a few eyes on her - probably Tony’s - as she and Thor stretched on the mat, but she pushed that to the back of her mind. Fight now, worry about who was watching later. When she finished, she stood, only to see that Thor was standing waiting for her.

“You ready?” he asked, shaking out his arms a few times.

“It’s now or never,” she smirked and threw herself at him.

 

 

Brunnhilde entered an entirely new headspace when she fought. All her thoughts, all her distractions, and anything other than a hyper-awareness of her own body bled out of her mind, and she ascended to a place of intense power, focus, and strength that, contrary to popular belief, she rarely inhabited in her normal life. She felt the mat move beneath her feet, sensed every minor shift of pressure in the air as Thor moved around her, and she could have laughed for joy if she wasn’t so focused. No matter how much she loved her sword or any other weapon, there was something about hand-to-hand that thrilled her and reminded her why she loved being a Valkyrie so much in the first place. She hadn’t pushed her body to its limits like this in a while - not in a non life or death scenario - and it was freeing, in a way, to be able to go as hard as she wished with Thor.

In the past year she’d sparred with Sam, and Bucky, and Steve, and even Natasha, and though they were all super or strong or special in some way, nothing compared to the joyful thrill of fighting Thor. She didn’t have to pull her punches with him or reserve her strength for fear of accidentally hurting one of the others. Even Steve and Bucky - who were clearly enhanced in a way that Sam and Natasha weren’t - wouldn’t be able to handle her worst attacks. But Thor, in all his godly glory, was the perfect opponent.

The fight lasted far longer than Brunnhilde had expected, each of them defending as well as they were attacked. Thor had landed some lucky blows to Brunnhilde’s face and chest, and she thought her lip might have been bleeding, but she was sure that he was worse off. A bruise was already blooming on his left cheek where her shoulder had caught him in a particularly close tussle, and his hair had come half out of its bun and whipped around his cheeks as he moved. Finally, after Brunnhilde thought she was going to have to give up and tap out from exhaustion, she managed to catch Thor around the back of his ankle and slam him to the ground, holding him down with one of her arms twisting one of his and the other pressed against his throat. She panted above him for a minute, sweat dripping down the tip of her nose and onto his face, and some of her escaped curls brushed his forehead. He appraised her with wide eyes and a tired, but wicked grin, and tapped the mat a few times lightly with his free hand.

Brunnhilde immediately let go of Thor and rolled off him, landing next to him on the mat on her back. Neither of them moved for a second, both breathing heavily, and Brunnhilde let her eyes close as sweat seeped into seemingly every crevice of her body. Her shirt was soaked through, and her arms were trembling, but she felt _alive_.

A sharp whistle broke through Brunnhilde’s blissful haze, and she snapped her eyes open and sat up in the same motion to see where the sound came from. Her eyes locked on Tony, who was standing next to Natasha, mere feet away from the mat where she and Thor had just been fighting, looking rather impressed and also rather taken aback. She blinked. How hadn’t she noticed them? She turned, groaning internally at how stiff her back already was, and stopped dead again when she saw Sam, Steve, Bucky, Vision, and Wanda all hovering around the other side of the mat. Each of them looked to be in some form of shock, and Bucky’s mouth was genuinely hanging open. Brunnhilde tapped Thor on the arm without looking away from the others, and he sat up grudgingly with an irritated groan. When he opened his eyes and caught sight of the team all standing there, he paused in confusion. Everything was silent for a second as Thor and Brunnhilde stared at their audience and as their audience stared blatantly at them, and then Thor opened his mouth and let out a hearty laugh. Wanda jumped, startled by the sound, and that only caused his laugh to grow into a roar. He rolled over on his side, still laughing, and struggled to his feet. Brunnhilde, tickled by his humor, as always, chuckled as well and accepted the hand he extended to help pull her to a standing position.

It was like their movement broke a spell, because suddenly everyone was talking at once.

“Are you fucking serious? I don’t think I’ve seen a fight that incredible since-”

“I’m honestly surprised they didn’t destroy the whole building-”

“Brunnhilde I swear to all the gods you better start coming on missions with us now or I’ll-”

“Excuse me,” Thor interrupted, barely above his normal speaking voice, but everyone snapped into silence. “I’m glad you all enjoyed the show but-” he quirked his eyebrows at them, “-don’t you all have workouts to get to?”

“I for one,” Brunnhilde continued, “Have better things to do other than stand around and be ogled all day. Although it is nice to be appreciated. I know it isn’t every day that you see two incredibly beautiful people like ourselves doing what we do best.”

She stepped off that mat, scooped off her shoes and socks, and strode towards the door, Sam and Bucky parting to let her pass. Thor raised his hand in a mock salute.

“The lady calls.” He grabbed his things and followed Brunnhilde to the door.

When they were a few feet outside the gym, Thor and Brunnihlde heard Tony’s voice.

“Are they fucking?” he asked incredulously.

“Hell yeah,” Sam replied.

“They’re in love, man,” Bucky scoffed. “Keep up. But yeah. That was probably the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my entire life. I think we should all just retire as Avengers and let them defend the planet together. They’d probably do a better job.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Tony agreed, his eyes still wide. “Is anyone else actually going to go back to working out now? Wanna get breakfast?” Brunnhilde heard “breakfast” and all but ran back to stick her head inside the door.

“Like you were even working out, Stark. I saw you sitting there with your phone. But yes, breakfast sounds amazing. I’m starved. Let’s get waffles. You’re paying!”

“I can’t believe you heard all that,” Steve shook his head. “Well, I’m down for waffles. Waffles, everyone?” There were general sounds of assent. “Great.” The group followed Thor and Brunnhilde out of the gym, and they all made their way upstairs.

“I just want you to know,” Thor whispered into Brunnhilde’s ear once they were safely back in their room waiting for the waffles to arrive, “that you are so fucking beautiful. And sexy. And that you beating me in that fight really turned me on.” Brunnhilde let a grin slide across her face.

“Did it now? Well, I guess we’re going to have to do something about that, won’t we?” She kissed him, hard, and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back.


	4. Chapter 4

Epilogue

 

Everything wasn’t perfect. Brunnhilde still had bad days, days when the sound of her own name made her want to run as fast and as far away as she could. Days when she couldn’t bear for anyone to touch her, especially Thor, and she kept everything bottled up inside. Days when memories of Eir felt so fresh and painful that she felt like she was doing something wrong, something criminal, just by being with Thor. No matter what it was, Thor was always there for her. He gave her space when she needed it; he held her even tighter than usual when she needed someone else to help hold her into her skin; he listened to her talk for hours about Eir, and describe her great beauty and grace and skill, all without batting an eye. He never got jealous and never complained, and when he had bad days Brunnhilde was there for him too, to bat away the nightmares and kiss the haunted look out of his eyes.

But there were also good days. Days when Brunnhilde loved her life and loved Thor and hadn’t a care in the world. Days when the two of them would steal off into the woods and have picnics on the grass, when the sun would seep into Brunnhilde’s head through her dark hair, and she would feed Thor bites of strawberries, and he would rest his head on her legs, and they trusted each other, implicitly. Days when she fought with the Avengers, and helped save a person in trouble, and felt like she finally had purpose again. Days when a child would stop her on the street and call her Valkyrie, stare up at her in awe, and ask her about Asgard. Days when she and Thor and Steve and Sam and Bucky and whoever else was around would have family dinners, or watch movies or play board games together, and she would laugh so hard she thought her heart would burst right out of her chest.   
  
  


Today was a difficult day. Brunnhilde had woken up with the weight of her past pressed firmly upon her chest, and no matter how hard she concentrated she couldn’t chase it away. She ached for a drink, even though she’d been several months sober, and deep inside she was grateful that the Avengers were helping her by keeping alcohol away. No matter how much she hated it on days like this, not knowing where the liquor was helped her avoid temptation. 

Brunnhilde curled further into Thor’s side, pressing her face into his sweater. He stroked her hair once, then returned his hand to her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. With her eyes closed, Brunnhilde could pretend that they weren’t sitting around the fireplace with most of the rest of the Avengers and that she wasn’t ruining the evening by being incompetent and unable to handle her emotions. As if he sensed her thoughts, Thor kissed her on the head soothingly, and she forced herself to relax into him. No one was judging her, and no one was mad at her. They were all worried about her, and they just wanted her to be happy. 

A little while passed, Brunnhilde listening to the others’ conversations from her place against Thor, her desire to participate slowly overtaking her debilitatingly complicated emotional state. Eventually, after what felt like hours, she sat up, blinking at the soft light of the fire, and Thor smiled at her. 

“You doing okay?” he asked, kind eyes searching hers for any sign of discomfort. 

“I think I’m good,” she breathed, and she actually meant it. It helped to see Steve, Sam, and Bucky in a veritable pile on a couch across the room, Bucky feeding Steve a cookie from where he lay on Steve’s lap. Sam stroked Bucky’s hair absently as he talked to Bruce, who was next to Wanda and Vision. Natasha and Clint were lying on the floor, wine glasses at their sides, laughing at some shared story, and Tony kept stealing bites of Clint’s cookie while he wasn’t looking. None of them made a big deal about her lack of a presence in the room but instead seemed perfectly comfortable with letting her participate in family time in her own way, and on her own terms. Brunnhilde felt warm inside. 

Tony materialized out of nowhere, a steaming mug in his hand and a chocolate chip cookie in the other. 

“Hot chocolate?” he asked, handing her the mug without waiting for her response. It was filled to the brim with marshmallows and decorated with little chocolate chips. “It usually makes me feel better.” He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure if he’d crossed a line or not. No matter how friendly Brunnhilde was with the Avengers, no one wanted to assume her boundaries. She was good at keeping herself to the side, and not letting others in. 

Brunnhilde smiled at the mug. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Tony grinned back. “If you must know, Clint and Natasha are arguing about whether you or Sif would win in a fight. They’re leaning towards Sif, so you may have to defend your honor.”

Brunnhilde gaped. “Sif? Are they mad? She could only dream about beating me.” Brunnhilde turned towards Thor. “Don’t you think so?” she asked with a sly grin. 

Thor balked. “I don’t know, I mean there’s so many variables, and both of you are very formidable fighters, believe me, but you know, there’s no way I could decide-”

“Thor,” Brunnhilde interrupted. “I was joking. I would never make you choose. Besides, we both know I would win,” she said, raising her voice so Clint and Natasha could hear, “So there’s no point in even talking about it, huh?”

Clint paled, but Natasha just laughed. “If you’re so sure, how about you convince us?”

“Oh, you’ve done it now…” Thor groaned as Brunnhilde sat up straighter, hot chocolate held tightly in her hands. 

“I’ll have you know, that I am one of the most formidable woman - no, one of the most formidable warriors of Asgard. Period. Only the best of the best are chosen to be Valkyrie, primed as soon as we could lift a sword, and I didn’t become so high ranked for no reason…”

Brunnhilde’s face brightened as she talked, explaining the history of the Valkyrie and the entire selection and training process. The room got quieter as she continued, and eventually, all the Avengers were hooked on her every word. Thor held her tightly around the waist, overcome by sudden emotion. She was so beautiful and so brilliant and strong, and despite all their trials and tribulations here they were, together with their new family. He hoped he could hold onto her forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay :) Thank you for reading!


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